Friday, April 9, 2010

a reminder to myself.

Everyone has that one thing that makes them tick, that brings to life their soul. I recognize it as a swelling that starts in my stomach, just below my ribcage and slowly spreads up my chest and through my arms simultaneously spilling down my legs and into my feet. My throat is full like when something is caught or when you try to not cry. It fills me so completely i begin feeling trapped within my body. Every part of my being coming to life and expanding. I am left reeling inside myself lost and yet utterly found. Every time i glimpse between pages of a book, every time i enter a new reality i simmer. The stories fill me releasing new truths from my soul.

The stories don't always come from books. As a child they mostly came from within me. I remember starting games with barbies or my sisters but eventually i was gone. I don't know if my sisters stopped playing or if i did. It didn't matter because i was gone away, lost in the story my brain was creating. I no longer wanted to act them out in games because the physical world was too limiting. Staring into windows, walls, and skies i watched as all the atoms of this world rearrange into whatever i desired. With a reality far more intense than any 3-d movie could ever hope to be.

When i am in my vortex of creativity i do not think what should come next in my story. I simply release myself from physical surroundings and unleash the story that has ALREADY been created. I allow my creative mind to link with my consciousness to create all i have ever dreamed. This is where i aim to live.

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